SURFING CODE FOR SAFETY AND ETIQUETTE

Rule 1: The surfer on the inside has right of way. If they’re up and riding and you slide in front of them, you are wrong. Bad. The transgressor. You owe them an apology and a wave.
Rule 2: Don’t just paddle out and catch the set wave, even if you’re a local and you’ve been surfing the spot since before surfboards were invented and the spot’s actually named after you blah blah blah. Give the people who have been in the water longer than you their dues. Allow them to catch their waves, slip into the queue and when they’ve all had a go, you can have yours. That’s called respect.
Rule 3: If you blow two good waves on a crowded day, you’ve officially lost your spot in the order. Let the others have a go on the sets before you try for lucky number three.
Rule 4: If you’re paddling out and someone is surfing towards you, make for the whitewater, not the shoulder.
Rule 5: If you’re up and riding and there’s a kook trying to get out of your way, it’s your prerogative to miss them. You’re riding the surfboard, they’re stuck in the water.
Rule 6: Don’t rock up at a quiet spot with a car full of your mates. Bringing more than three people (including yourself) in your car for a surf is gauche – which is French for left. Figure it out yourself dingleberry – which is English for the nuggets that hang on your ass fur.
Rule 7: Don’t pull in and start phoning all your buds and tuning them how cranking the waves are. That’s not fair on anyone. Resist that urge. If they’re on it, they’ll know about it.
Rule 8: If you scored good waves bragging about it is not “sharing the stoke” it’s rubbing your mates’ noses in it.
Rule 9: If you’re paddling out at a sensitive / localised spot, make nice. Take your time to watch and show respect. Don’t be a surfpig, race for the inside and start jostling for the sets. Respect the locals and nine times out of ten you’ll get respect in return. One time out of ten you’ll pay your dues.
Rule 10: If someone drops in on you, don’t just collapse on your bum and throw a hissy fit. More often than not there’s plenty of space on the wave for two surfers and the ride’s not over just because some monkey smoked you.
Rule 11: Surfboards are dangerous. Don’t drop in on people’s heads or try and cut them in half with your fins. It’s up to you to be responsible for not hurting anyone.
Rule 12: Be nice to women, children, kooks, boogers, SUPs, goat-boaters and kneelos. As much as it hurts, they’re all part of surfing’s diverse gene pool. And they want the same things you do. We’re all there to share the waves. There is no hierarchy.
Rule 13: Communicate clearly in the water. If you’re going left or right let the people around you know. If someone’s on your outside and paddling hard give them a friendly ‘whoop’. If someone’s behaving like a pig, have a calm word with them.
Rule 14: Don’t resort to violence. We have got enough of that in South Africa. Fighting over waves is unnatural and silly. There’s always another set.
“One man one wave.” Says the enlightened big wave Buddha of Kommetjie, Andy Marr. “Each person is entitled to a turn. You can’t think you’re too fancy and that you’re entitled to five waves to everyone elses’ one,” he smiles wisely. “Remember, respect your fellow watermen.”